seeking balance


People tell you that motherhood will change your life, they tell you parenting is hard work.  Of course we know these things, they seem so obvious.  But the magnitude of these changes can never be known until they are upon us.  REALLY PEOPLE, BABIES CHANGE YOUR LIFE, THEY ARE REALLY HARD WORK.  It’s no use, no matter how we shout it, we can never prepare for it, or help others prepare for it.  With children come a loss of independence that we could never fathom until it is gone.  But this loss also brings a joy that is equally unfathomable and so completely worth our gargantuan efforts.  

I have been married for almost eight years now.  I do love my husband, Pablo, very much, but as anyone will tell you, marriage is such hard work.  It is always a struggle to keep our relationship growing in the right direction.  Sometimes it feels like the pressures of life are like a huge storm crashing in on us and our marriage is what takes the biggest beating.  How do we find time for each other when we have kids to take care of, bills to pay, and floors to sweep?  Luckily, we are both committed to doing whatever it takes to grow together, instead of apart.  I have to trust this is enough.

I love being a mom to my two amazing children, Oliver is five, Esme just turned one.  Although I have never done anything so challenging in my life, I have also never enjoyed anything as much as I enjoy watching my children grow.  Being a good mother is the most important thing in my life.  I make my family my first priority as much as possible, but it is certainly not easy and I am far from perfect.   I feel like I am constantly seeking to bring balance to my life.  I have so many ideas, aspirations, and dreams.  I make lists and schedules.  But as soon as I try to put a new strategy into action, the baby’s naps change, or she starts teething.  It seems like all I can ever get done are the dishes and the laundry, if I’m lucky.  I try to remember what is important: playing with my children, feeding them healthy meals, getting them to bed on time, giving my husband a kiss.  Perhaps it should be enough for me to help my family grow today and tomorrow, when they are bigger, start to create the visions that I have inside of me.  Or perhaps things need to change, so that I can create my dreams today.  There has to be a way to do it all, right?

I know I am not alone.  This modern world asks too much of us all.  There has to be a better way.  Perhaps the answer lies in living a more simple, more balanced life.  A life where the focus is more on family, community, and sustainability, and less on worldly accomplishments and acquisitions.  How to get from here to there is the challenge, but I am full of hope and determined to find the path.


~ by beautifulgreenlife on May 17, 2009.

One Response to “seeking balance”

  1. I share your thoughts and am in the midst of my own struggle to find balance. I seem to have it fleetingly in moments and then it mysteriously disappears! Reading your post has brought me back to what my vision of simplicity is though and served as a reminder to outline my own “what’s important” list. Good luck with your journey.

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